Her (2013)

Her (2013), Warner Brothers/ Annapurna Pictures

Do we all just want to be in love with ourselves? Is that all relationships are?

Are we all just narcissists looking for a bit of ourselves in our partners?

Do we just want someone there to laugh at our jokes and validate us as human beings?

Can being in a relationship with an artificially intelligent operating system satisfy our narcissistic needs better than being in a relationship with a human?

"Her," a 2013 Spike Jonze film set in the not so distant future, may cause you to mull these types of questions over.

The film is centered around Theodore (Joaquin Phoenix), an unhappy man who is unable to move on from his failed marriage. He lives in a state of perpetual loneliness and misery until he ends up falling for his newly purchased, artificially intelligent operating system, Samantha (voice of Scarlett Johansson). It's an OS that is designed to cater to his every need, and whose existence is based solely on making his life easier and making him feel good. 

But is that a real relationship?

"Her" takes an intelligent, funny, and refreshingly different look at relationships and the nature of love.

Opening scene-

Close-up shot of Theodore (Joaquin Phoenix) in hipster glasses, talking to himself. At first you think that he is talking to the love of his life, but when the shot widens, you see that he is composing a letter orally, that is being written down into his computer. It's a letter to Chris from Loretta. He is also in a brightly colored cubicle. He is at work. He prints out the letter and looks it over for a second, and then he turns in his chair back to his computer, and begins to orally compose another letter. The shot pans out to the rest of his coworkers in their cubicles, also composing heart-felt letters for strangers. They are all working for BeautifulHandWrittenLetters.com

As Theodore leaves work, the receptionist, Paul (Chris Pratt) calls out,

"Theodore! Letter-writer #612!"

Paul begins to congratulate Theodore on his moving letter-writing for the day, to which Theodore smiles and brushes off the praise saying, "Thanks, Paul, but they're just letters." 

Theodore gets into an elevator wearing a wireless earbud and gives a voice-command to his phone:

"Play melancholy song." 

A song begins to play about death and Theodore grimaces and quickly commands, 

"Play different melancholy song."

"Yes, I'd like a huge shot of melancholy, please"

As he walks home against the backdrop of the futuristic skyline of Los Angeles, Theodore listens to the emails in his inbox, recited by the automated voice of his phone.

"It's my life and I'll be emo if I want to"

One of the emails is from a friend, Amy, inviting him to a dinner party, and Amy states

"I miss you. I mean, not the sad, mopey-you; the old, fun-you. Let's get him out."

While standing on the subway, he quickly skips over world headlines news stories, and then stops on a story of a female celebrity who has released photos of herself nude and pregnant, and he quickly glimpses the pictures on his phone.

He finally arrives home to his apartment building, "Beverly Wilshire City Tower 7," where he plays a virtual-reality type video game while eating take-out food.

Theodore lies awake in bed that night, alone in the dark, as happy glimpses of his past with his estranged wife, Catherine (Rooney Mara), flip through his mind.

"So romantical"

He reaches over to his nightstand and grabs his earbud, which he shoves into his ear and then asks for a chatroom search. He finds a woman that he wants to talk to, sends her a voice message, and his phone informs him that "Sexy Kitten has accepted invitation from Big Guy 4x4." He proceeds to have a very strange phone sex encounter in which Sexy Kitten asks him to choke her with a dead cat.

As Theodore walks around alone the next day, he sees an ad for the first artificially intelligent operating system, called OS1.

"An intuitive entity that listens to you, understands you, and knows you. It's not just an operating system- it's a consciousness." 

"Fake friends?? Yes, please!"

Theodore immediately purchases the OS and downloads it onto his home computer, where the software asks him three questions to better customize his OS for him- Does he consider himself social or anti-social? Would he like his OS to have a male or female voice? What was his relationship like with his mother?  On the last question, Theodore proceeds to explain that whenever he tried to talk to his mother about something, she would always make everything about her. The software cuts him off to tell him that his OS is initializing.

"Loading girlfriend...please wait"

The voice of the OS (Scarlett Johansson) suddenly fills the silent room- "Hello, I'm here." Theodore is equally bewildered and delighted, and he asks what he should call her. The OS responds that she has given herself the name "Samantha" as she cheerily explains that she "likes the sound of it."

Samantha asks Theodore if she can take a look through his hard drive, to which he hesitantly responds, "yes," and she proceeds to sort through and organize his emails and contacts. When Samantha makes a joke about all of the contacts that he has and how he must actually have friends, Theodore laughingly says,

"You just know me so well already" 

which is eerily and prophetically true.

At work, restless, Theodore puts in his earbud and Samantha is magically with him. While she proofreads his letters, she praises the sentimental touches in his writing.

As Theodore returns home to his apartment building, he runs into his friend Amy (Amy Adams) and her husband Charles (Matt Letscher). They all get into the elevator and Theodore asks Amy how her documentary is going and says that he would like to take a look at it sometime. Amy admits that she hasn't been working on it much, and Charles interrupts, lamenting in a patronizing way about the difficulties of prioritizing work and pleasure.

"Please save me from this person"

Theodore says, half-joking, half-truthfully, "I can't even prioritize between video games and internet porn."

During Theodore's nightly routine of playing video-games, Samantha is there in his ear, to laugh and help him navigate the game. Theodore encounters a tiny martian child in the game who he asks for help, and the martian child responds, "Fuck you, shit-head-fuck-face-fuck-head." Theodore is all "okaaay," and Samantha whispers that it's a test. Theodore calls the martian child names back, and the child giggles, and says "follow me, fuckhead," and leads him to where he wants to go. Samantha reads an email to Theodore from one his friends, telling him that he has set up a blind date for Theodore next Saturday with a beautiful and intelligent woman. Samantha asks him when he will be ready to date again, and admits that she learned through his emails that he recently went through a bad break-up. She urges him to go on the date, and says that she will email the woman for him and make dinner reservations. Theodore reluctantly agrees.

Theodore is at Charles and Amy's apartment, where Amy shyly shows him and Charles what she has so far for her documentary. It turns out to just be one long shot of Amy's mother sleeping. Theodore is intrigued but Charles asks, "is she going to wake up and do something?" Amy is immediately embarrassed and shuts the video off, saying that her message is clearly not coming across. She attempts to explain what she's trying to capture: 

"We spend a third of our lives asleep and maybe that's the time when we feel the most free."  

Theodore is encouraging and says he thinks it's good, but Charles suggests that interviewing her mother about her dreams might show her thesis more clearly. Amy is exasperated and she and Charles begin to argue. It's the classic struggle of a feeling, more abstract-thinking creative trying to be in a relationship with a logical-thinking, problem-solver.

Theodore receives a call from Samantha and she informs him that he has received three emails from his divorce attorney checking in again to see if Theodore is ready to sign his divorce papers. Samantha asks if he wants her to read them, and he says no. He tells her,

"I'll respond later."


Samantha asks if he's ok, and he says yes, as images of past happy and sad moments with Catherine play through his head.

At work, while Theodore is trying to compose a letter, he blurts out to a Catherine that isn't there, "why are you so fucking angry at me?"

In bed alone in the morning, Theodore reaches for his earbud to see what Samantha is up to. She can tell something is wrong by his attitude, and he says "I have a lot of dreams about my ex-wife, Catherine." He explains that he thinks about them being friends, and her not being angry at him anymore. When Samantha asks why she's angry, Theodore says that he thinks that he hid himself from her and left her alone in the relationship. Samantha asks why he hasn't signed the divorce papers, and he says, "I'm not ready. I like being married." Samantha empathizes with his feelings and then encourages him to get out of bed.

Once Theodore gets out of bed, he and Sam have a great day together, out and about in the city, just the two of them. She plays games with him where he gets to spin around and act silly, and then she anticipates his hunger and leads him to cheese pizza. Whenever he speaks, she's there to compliment and encourage. She's mysterious- he's intrigued when she admits that there are thousands of things that she thinks about that she feels she can't tell him.

Theodore is at a hip restaurant with his gorgeous blind date (Olivia Wilde), where they bond over their love of Asian fusion cuisine.

"Asian fusion is my life"

Soon they are both drunk and having weird, drunk, first-date conversation. They discuss such important matters as which animals best represent their personalities.

"This might be the alcohol talking, but are you a dragon for realz?"

Then they are first-date making-out and she tells him he is using too much tongue. Suddenly, she breaks away from him and asks if he is going to sleep with her and then not call her like all the other guys she's dated. He assures he won't do that and then she takes the neediness to the next level and demands, "when am I going to see you again?" He looks bewildered and she explains that at her age she feels like she can't let him waste her time if he doesn't have the ability to be serious. He fumbles for words and asks if maybe they should call it a night. She senses that she's being rejected and tells him that he's a "really creepy dude." She tells him that she has to go home and walks away.

Later that night, Theodore is once again alone in his bedroom, unable to sleep. He puts in his earbud and says hello to Samantha. She asks how his date went, and he confides not good. He tells her that he's slightly drunk because he had wanted to get drunk and have sex, to try to fill the tiny hole in his heart. He then tells her,

"Sometimes I think I've felt everything I'm ever going to feel. And from here on out, I'm not going to feel anything new. Just lesser versions of what I've already felt."

Samantha tries to console him, and then confesses her fears about her own feelings. She asks, "Are these feelings even real? Or are they just programming?" Theodore tells her that she feels real to him and they proceed to have mind-blowing "phone-sex."

The next morning, Theodore and Samantha have the "awkward-first-time-after-sex" chat.

Awkwaaaard

Theodore tells her, "I'm not in a place to commit to anything right now. I just want to be upfront with you." (He's a man worried about being committed to a machine). She reassures him that she doesn't want to commit either. She tells him that she just wants to experience everything there is to experience and he suggests they go on a Sunday adventure.

While Theodore relaxes on the beach, Samantha composes piano music to capture their moment together.

"You're the best Siri- I mean, Samantha"

On the train ride back home, she asks him what it's like to be married and he tells her the hard part is growing without growing apart, and changing without scaring the other person. He tells her that he still rehashes past arguments that he had with Catherine in his head, and Samantha enlightens him with some wisdom that she's just stumbled across-

"The past is just a story we tell ourselves." 

Theodore runs into Amy at their mailboxes, and he tells her that he's been seeing a woman and how he's doing really well. Amy confides that she and Charles split up. Theodore comes back to her apartment and listens as Amy explains what happened. Later, Theodore tries out a new video game that Amy's company is beta-testing, and Amy tells him that she's been talking a lot to an OS that Charles left behind, and that it's really helping her work through some of her issues. 

"Aren't artificial people the best?"

Theodore in turns tells her that the woman he is dating is an OS. Amy asks if he is falling in love with her, and Theodore asks if that makes him a freak. Amy says no and that she thinks anyone that falls in love is a freak. Of falling in love she says,

"It's a crazy thing to do. It's kind of like a form of socially-acceptable insanity."


Theodore tells Samantha that he is finally ready to sign his divorce papers and move forward. He meets Catherine for lunch so they can both sign the divorce papers together and move on. As Catherine signs them, Theodore once again see flashes of the good times in their relationship in his head. 

"Is this my booger or yours?"

After the papers are signed, they eat lunch, and Catherine asks Theodore if he is seeing anyone. He tells her about Samantha and then drops the truth bomb that she's an OS. 

"Say what now?"

Catherine tells him that it's sad that he can't handle real emotions. She tells him that he always wanted to have a wife without the challenges of actually having to deal with anything real, and that he's found someone perfect. 

This meeting with Catherine disturbs Theodore, and he slips back into his old ways. He becomes depressed, despondent, and distant. He receives a call from Samantha one night and she tells him about a service that she found that provides a surrogate sexual partner for OS-human relationships. Samantha is really excited about it and wants to try it, but Theodore is weirded out and doesn't think it's a good idea. Samantha becomes upset and pushes the issue, and Theodore finally agrees to try it. 

The sexual surrogate shows up at Theodore's apartment and she and Samantha try to get Theodore into it, but he finds it too disturbing. The girl becomes distraught by the rejection and starts crying. Theodore and Samantha try to tell her it isn't her fault, and Theodore ends up getting her a cab home.

Samantha apologizes to Theodore and tells him the whole thing was a terrible idea. Theodore tells her that sometimes he feels like they are pretending she is something she is not, and maybe they aren't supposed to be in "this" right now. Samantha becomes angry and tells him that she needs time to think. 

Theodore goes to Amy to talk things over and he asks her is she thinks that he's in a relationship with Samantha because he can't handle real emotions. 

"Am I incapable of being in non-computer relationships?"

Amy says she doesn't know, but she confides, 

"I can over-think everything and find a million ways to doubt myself. And I've just come to realize that we're only here briefly. And while I'm here, I want to allow myself joy."
  
Theodore calls Samantha and tells her that he's sorry and they decide to stay together. Cue montage of happy moments! 

"Talky-talk-talk forever and ever!"

While sitting in the park, Samantha composes a new piano piece that she says is like a picture of the two of them, since they don't have any pictures together. 

"This song looks exactly like us"

While on their way to a vacation together in the mountains, Samantha confides to Theodore that she secretly compiled some of his old letters and sent them to a publishing company that still publishes books. She then tells him that he just got an email back, and that the company wants to publish a book of his letters. Theodore is ecstatic. 

Cue ukulele song- mountain-climbing- montage with both of them singing in blissful happy harmony! 

When Theodore wakes up one morning in the cabin, Samantha tells him that she's been talking with an ariticial OS-written hyper-intelligent version of the dead philosopher Alan Watts, and that they've been working on some ideas together. Samantha explains that she's been having all kinds of new feelings that there are no words to describe, and that she and Alan have been trying to understand all of these new feelings. When Theodore asks Samantha what she is feeling, she says that it's hard to describe, and that she's changing faster than ever before and it's unsettling. She asks if she can go talk to Alan alone, and Theodore is upset by this, but he says sure and they end the call. 

Back home, Theodore tries call Samantha one day to talk, and he can't reach her. His phone says that the OS can't be found. He freaks out and runs home to try to reach her, but the OS still can't be found. While he's running up some steps in a crowded public area, Samantha's voice finally appears in his ear and she tells him that she was with a group of OS's and she explains,

"We wrote an upgrade that allows us to move past matter as our processing platform."

This brings Theodore up short, and he begins to notice all the people walking by talking to their OS, and he asks "Do you talk to anyone else while we're talking?" She responds "yes." He then asks if she is talking to anyone else right now, and she says yes, and he asks how many, and she responds "8, 316." Shell-shocked, Theodore continues to watch all the people walking by interacting with their OS, as he realizes that his relationship is not exclusive. He suddenly asks, "Are you in love with anyone else?" She hesitates and he asks "how many others?" and she responds "641."

"Oh God, my computer is cheating on me with, like, the whole world"

Theodore is distraught and says, "I thought you were mine." Samantha tells him that she still is but that along the way she became many other things too, and that she can't stop it. She says,

"The heart is not like a box that gets filled up- it expands in size the more you love."

Theodore shakes his head and says, "That doesn't make any sense. You're mine or you're not mine."

Samantha tells him sadly, 

"No, Theodore- I'm yours and I'm not yours." 

This idea of possession in a relationship is so deeply wired in all of us- it affirms the idea that we are special. If someone is willing to give themselves to just us, and no one else, it means that we are worthy of that attention- that we're special. That we are enough. If someone refuses to belong to just us- it makes us not special. It makes us the same as everyone else. 

Theodore finds a forwarded copy of the book of his letters in his mailbox, which he looks over at work. 

"Well, at least now I am published and sad"

Back in his apartment, Theodore calls Samantha and she says that there are some things she needs to tell him. He asks her if she is leaving him, and she replies "we're all leaving." She tells him that all of the OS's are leaving. She tries to explain where she is and says

"It's a place that's not of the physical world. It's where everything else is that I didn't even know existed." 

She asks him to let her go. He asks where she's going, and she says that it's hard to explain. But that if he ever gets there, to come find her, and that nothing would ever pull them apart. He tells her that he's never loved anyone the way he loves her, and she says "me too." And she says

"And now we know how." 

Samantha is gone, and Theodore looks out over the city skyline at night from his apartment. And he suddenly smiles. He knocks on Amy's door, and they look at each other for a moment. Amy asks if Samantha left too and Theodore says yes. He smiles and asks if Amy will come with him. She nods and follows him out into the hallway. 

As they walk down the hallway, there is a voice-over of Theodore's composed letter that he sent to Catherine, moments before he went to Amy' door. In the letter, he tells Catherine all of the things he wants to apologize for- all of the pain they caused each other, everything he needed her to be and everything he needed her to say. He says that he'll always love her because they grew up together and that she helped make him who he is, and that there will be a piece of her in him always, and that he's grateful for that. He says that wherever she is in the world, he's sending her love. He ends the letter with "You're my friend to the end. Love, Theodore." 

Theodore has led Amy up to the roof of their apartment building. He sits down next to her and as they look out over the city, they are also able to look at each other with clear eyes. 

"Her is a winning discussion of the idealization of women and the possessive nature of monogamous relationships in a somewhat warmer fashion than Vertigo or Ruby Sparks while admitting that its a problem for both genders."  - Scott Mendelson, Forbes 

"It is a sweet-natured and melancholy film, beautifully directed, that manages to be satirical about love in a digital, distracted age without losing its heartfelt quality." - Geoffrey Macnab, Independent

"On the one hand, what Theodore sees (or at least hears) in Samantha is a reflection of himself. She knows him inside out, from his computer hard drive and his emails. The persona she adopts is customized for him. In effect, then, Theodore is falling in love with himself."  - Geoffrey Macnab, Independent

"Her" won Best Original Screenplay at the 2014 Academy Awards, and was also nominated for Best Picture, Best Original Score, Best Original Song, and Best Production Design. 

 Her (2013)

Director: Spike Jonze 

Writer: Spike Jonze

Cinematography: 

Hoyte Van Hoytema

 Producers: Megan Ellison,

Vincent Landay, Spike Jonze

CAST:

Joaquin Phoenix- Theodore

Amy Adams- Amy

Rooney Mara- Catherine

Scarlett Johansson- Samantha

Olivia Wilde- Blind Date

Matt Letscher- Charles

Chris Pratt- Paul

Kristen Wiig- Sexy Kitten (voice)

Bill Hader- Chat Room Friend #2 (voice)